Ressurection Sunday

As I sit here, I am thinking about the pain that I am in. I am pondering how lost I feel. I'm wondering how people will judge me (in my family) for not attending church on the most sacred of days. It's not that I don't want to worship. It's not that I don't want to get cleaned up and just go....even if I will be late. It's just.............my body feels heavy, and my brain feels constantly tormented. Everything hurts today.......and all my joints are swollen. Fantastic.
I haven't slept in 2 days. 5 minutes here or there......cat naps....but I haven't had a restful restorative sleep in 2 days. I'm tired and I'm weak......and I have no interest in doing anything, but sleeping.
I wonder how much more He felt? I wonder how much more He suffered? I wonder how much more he suffers everyday.....just for me.
Jesus paid it all....
all to him I owe....
sin had left a crimson stain...
he washed it white as snow........

I forget the first line.....but in that hymn.....

My strength in did is small....
child of ????? watch and pray.
Find in me thine all and all.......

i wouldn't be able to bear this life if it wasn't for Him, and on this most holy of days, I am reminded so clearly how I should feel and act everyday.


Jesus Paid it All........celebrate the love of Christ our Lord today.